Day 8

The past few days have been busy -as always. Sometimes I think about how not being pregnant would probably be just as well. Timing-wise, there is so much I'm expected to do in the next few months. But me being my usual impatient self, I felt like I just couldn't wait one more month. I felt like waiting was harder than the prospect of getting really sick. So these past few days, I have been busy as a bee getting the last of my ducks in a row, as well as working, and helping my sister plan her wedding. Next task: throw a bridal shower. At this point, sooner is better than later. I'm tempted to throw it in the next two weeks, even though she's not getting married for another eight weeks. No harm in going a little early.

I'm feeling better since my sinus infection. My head isn't as stuffy and I don't taste copper anymore. I have eliminated Diet coke for good, but occasionally I'll sip on a coke with a splash of coconut syrup. I'd be sorta surprised if the syrup isn't adding extra potassium to my diet--sure, it's all sugar, but it also contains potassium in the ingredient list. If I get adventurous, I'll implement natural coconut flavor and milk wherever applicable (coconut infused rice?!)

I'm hulking up, on purpose. I'm eating every 3 hours. I don't have much of an appetite, but I'm looking for opportunities to get as many calories as I can. I feel heavier than usual. I still weigh less than I did when I was first preggo with Sawyer, so I'm giving myself permission to get fat this week and next. And if I'm in fact not pregnant, then I'll cut back and find a middle ground so I'll be ready in a few months.

My to-do list for this week is to put my son's room together and clean out the garage. Taylor needs to do a few odd jobs, as well as homework, but he's got some extra time, strangely enough so hopefully this weekend will allow us to get caught up on life so we can devote the next two weeks to preparing for or not preparing for a time of gestation.

Still taking daily magnesium and B6 supplements. I'm eating a lot of greens and healthy fats whenever possible. Not as many sweets, and trying to choose eggs over cereal when I can. Oh, and also, trying to remember to enjoy this time, and my baby son, and how cute he is and what a huge blessing he is to me. He has my whole heart and nothing will ever replace the love I have just for him.

Day 4-battling a sinus infection

I have been sick for a little over a week. On Taylor's birthday (July 16), I came home from work, made a quick dinner of Cup o' Noodles for my son and myself, and crashed. Luckily Taylor was home within that hour, and luckily TV in bed entertained my son sufficiently. Taylor told me to sleep and not worry about his b-day dinner. Thankfully, we had a fancy sushi dinner the night before. Good call, Vanessa.

Well, that night progressed into a really horrible sinus headache. I took an Excedrin, but a few days of feeling like crap urged me to seek medical intervention. Unfortunately, the doctor didn't see the seriousness of my cold and headache, brushed it off as a virus, but sent me home with a prescription, should my headaches get worse.

The headaches went away, but breathing through my nose was hard, talking was labored, and I was dizzy and fatigued. So yesterday, I attributed my sleepiness with possible morning sickness, but I realized it was still most likely from the "virus" that needed to be obliterated. So I got antibiotics last night, slept a comfortable 9 hours, and woke up feeling refreshed. Virus=obliterated. I have more energy today. That "trapped water in my head" I felt every time I walked is gone, and the nasal-y sound isn't as prominent when I talk.

I feel like mentioning this because this is a constant theme in my life. I know my body, my thresholds, and I know when I have "just a cold." I get them all the time. But if it's a bacterial infection that causes me hide under my covers, blocking all light and sound, and if I'm sick enough to seek medical advice, I don't want to be sent home empty handed.

I felt like this was how my last pregnancy was also treated. I'd get a sympathetic look, and then a "you'll get over it" response, leaving the hospital to go home and throw up constantly for another 48 hours.

Finally, 4 months in, the ER doctor confirms that I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum, but without any sense of priority or urgency. All I got was "come in at 8:00 am when your OB is here." So from 2:00 am to 8:00 am I tried to sleep as much as possible. Of course, it was outside on my parent's front lawn. Because I was sick of sleeping by the toilet. My OB was a lot more sympathetic, and treated me with IV therapy that same day. I could have kissed him. He prescribed 14 days of IV therapy, because he understood the gravity of what I was going through.

Since I have that history with Dr. Cox, I have decided that the moment the pregnancy test confirms I'm pregnant, I'm calling his nurse to get a prescription asap for Zofran, and then I'm going to demand to be seen by him as soon as possible.

I'm not going to wait to get sick.

I'm going to have him prescribe me Zofran, Diclegis, Sancuso patch, and help me set up Home Health care, and I'm not leaving the office until that's all figured out. 

I'm not waiting til I'm dehydrated and can only talk in whispers to get my doctor's attention. I'm starting zofran the moment I feel nauseous. I'm not going to wait to get sick.

Sometimes, easier said than done. Otherwise, I'm feeling great. I am noticing an increase in appetite, with an okay response to sugar, so for the sake of taking in calories, I'm eating sugar now to hopefully be stored for when and if my body starts to go into starvation mode.  Dr. Cox said I need as much glycemic storage as possible, but I do fear I am prone to hypoglycemia. Which is further propagated by HG. So I have nuts and beef jerky on hand for that very reason. Quick, fast protein for those moments when I feel like death.

My energy is still in check. My life is currently conducive to sedentary activities, besides playing with my kid and cleaning our two story condo. Other than that, I'm not doing anything crazy, like last time. Last pregnancy I was riding my bike to and from work at 6:00 am, I was unpacking boxes after moving into our house, and I was helping my friend with her wedding. Also, I was going to school full-time. Busy, but that's fairly normal for me. I purposely eliminated all extra activities for this specific point in time in my potential pregnancy. The only things I have to stress about is my 3 hour work shifts, and my little sister's upcoming wedding that I was asked to help make her cake...It only took three years of working extra hard to get to this point, where I have the luxury to just sit at my computer and blog while I listen to my sweet 2 1/2 year old sing "The Wheels on the Bus" over and over. There is seriously nothing better.

Day 2

My coconut flavored syrup came in the mail today. Too bad I won't be using it to make Dirty Diet Cokes until I know whether I'm pregnant or not.

Well..it's been a full 24 hours since my husband and I tried to conceive. The biggest change in my body thus far is fatigue. I attribute it to caffeine withdrawals. By 4:00 pm today I couldn't keep my eyes open. I even took a late nap til I decided I should wake up and eat. It's 1:00 am now and I'm hoping I can hop back into bed and melt away.

I'm on a light schedule this week. I only work 3 hours a day, and S only goes to daycare for those hours, so I'm not stressing too much about separation anxiety. I hope to taper off at work and do occasional Saturdays or not work at all. Taylor's new schedule will also allow him to take S to daycare in the morning before class, then I can pick him up around noon (on those rough mornings), or at the latest I can pick him up at 3:00 pm after his nap. I am normally a SAHM and would normally choose to keep my children in my line of sight, but I think HG is a situation that would be best remedied with supplementary child care. At least for the next two to three months. Plus, I do believe S benefits from having the social interaction that he doesn't get at home.

I forgot to take my Magnesium/Calcium today til dinner. I really should be taking it with each meal. Tomorrow I'm going to remember to take them with each meal, as well as drink lemon water and take an evening walk, just because I think it would be a good habit to get into.

Day 1: Conception

I'm listening to Katie Herzig's "Wish You Well."

"I, I want to wish you well
I didn’t watch you go
Cause I suppose I don’t know how
I, I will remember you
Not the way you left but how you lived
And what you knew"


This song describes my transition into the next chapter into my life.

Pregnancy.

This blog is meant to be my go-to during this ambitious journey. I plan to write about everything that I deem important and worth noting. I'm sure there will be a lot of tears, frustration, and whining. But my goal is to document my journey, noting what proactive steps I'm making to make this process less arduous. Like this song, I feel like I've learned so much these past 3 crazy years. I had to find my way through it all. I had to deal with my fair share of physical turmoil. I kept telling myself "next time" I get pregnant, I'll do "this", or "that" differently-whatever those things were.

I have been mentally and physically, and emotionally as well, preparing myself for this point. Patiently. I almost took the plunge last March, but got cold feet at the last minute because I had a huge list of life changes going on during that time. But now- Now we are all settled in our new place (requested by my pregnant self). Most of our stuff is clean and organized (another request), there is AC (an important detail), and I'm for the most part prepared for the worst (dehydration, IVs, hospital visits, etc. etc.) Knowing that this will be my life for the next five or so months will hopefully help me on my hardest days - it will help me remember that I knowingly made this decision, fully aware of the repercussions to follow.

I may share this with my fellow HG sufferers on Facebook. If I find that my protocol and approach to easing HG is effective and worth sharing, I may include this blog in a thread. But regardless, I plan to include as many details as possible. I think it would be wise to document my experience efficiently as possible to get the best medical help possible. And to also help with future pregnancies.

So, first detail I'm sharing is: DRUMROLL.................. tonight is the night! I'm currently ovulating (according to my fertility calendar.)  I'm assuming I'm fairly fertile, considering I had no issues conceiving Baby S (surprise pregnancy!) I haven't been on birth control for months....I don't really care for birth control, so my husband and I use the "family planning" method. That's also how I got pregnant the firs time around! ha.

I am choosing to try to conceive a few days before my "most fertile day" because I read that it increases the chances of conceiving a girl. But that's just one little step I'm taking- I really couldn't care less if we conceive a girl or boy. But where I have to be proactive anyway, I'm being proactive about the timing of us ttc. So, tonight it is.

I purposely gained about 5 extra pounds (which is a lot for me). I sort of let go of my diet and stocked up on whole milk and ice cream. I would say I currently weigh 127 lbs. About a year ago, I started taking Milk Thistle supplements to help detox my liver. I felt like it helped with constipation, but where I wasn't pregnant, I'm not sure if it had any benefits in regards to HG. So I took a break from MT. Then I read up on Magnesium and how important it is to stay on top of. So I started taking over the counter Mag/Calcium supplements and noticed slight improvements in my energy levels. My biggest health issue (if you can call it that) is my dependency on caffeine. The past few months have been especially filled with daily Diet Cokes to keep me going. Today I skipped the diet coke and took a few sips of a regular Coke (which has less caffeine) and that should help me regulate my caffeine withdrawals by this weekend, if not sooner.

Another lifestyle change I committed to was going gluten-free. I think I went a month without consuming flour products or cans/mixes/soups with gluten in them. I wasn't 100%, but pretty close. I actually lost 7 or so lbs (water weight probably), and felt great. My energy was amazing. Then one night I sort of crashed and resorted to eating all the comfort foods I had denied myself. That bender sort of turned into a three month carb-overload bender. I gained the weight back, as well as broke out in cystic pimples on my face and neck. I'm 28 years old and feel and look some days like I did when I was 14. But that month of being slender and having endless energy was a glorious time. Tonight, I opted for Mexican food (for probably the last time for a while) as a sort of "last meal." Like my facebook HG cohort Tara, I am committed to being diligent to a regimented eating schedule, and opting for low-gluten food choices whenever possible. I remember last pregnancy and how sugar would destroy me- so I think it's safe to say I'll steer clear of carbs, sweets, and hard-to-digest foods containing gluten.

During my last pregnancy, I struggled the most with smells. I'm curious as to how living in a cleaner home will affect me. I wonder if my triggers will be like last time: shampoo, conditioner, perfume, body wash, laundry soap, and dryer sheets. Regardless, my plan is to keep all smells at bay. They're good to just sit on the shelf for now. I will probably listen to less music, look at less Pinterest, and not drive my hot car if I don't have to.

As soon as my pregnancy test confirms I'm pregnant, I will contact my doctor Dr. Cox and request a prescription for Diclegis, Zantac, Zofran, and I'll pick up test strips that detect ketone levels. I will be aggressive with meds and not let myself get to the point where I'm in and out of consciousness on the couch, wondering if I'm going to die in front of my worried and confused family.

And at the very least, I'm going to remember WHY I'm doing this. One look at my prince gives me many reminders of why motherhood is the greatest calling ever.

Though this may sound ambitious to say prior to HG, my one lofty goal for this pregnancy is to go as long as I can without letting my family know what's going on. I spilled the beans when I was 6 weeks, because I was crying and exhausted and I just wanted my mommy. This time, it would be fantastic to make the announcement via "I'm the big brother" t-shirt at a family dinner.