Day 1: Conception

I'm listening to Katie Herzig's "Wish You Well."

"I, I want to wish you well
I didn’t watch you go
Cause I suppose I don’t know how
I, I will remember you
Not the way you left but how you lived
And what you knew"


This song describes my transition into the next chapter into my life.

Pregnancy.

This blog is meant to be my go-to during this ambitious journey. I plan to write about everything that I deem important and worth noting. I'm sure there will be a lot of tears, frustration, and whining. But my goal is to document my journey, noting what proactive steps I'm making to make this process less arduous. Like this song, I feel like I've learned so much these past 3 crazy years. I had to find my way through it all. I had to deal with my fair share of physical turmoil. I kept telling myself "next time" I get pregnant, I'll do "this", or "that" differently-whatever those things were.

I have been mentally and physically, and emotionally as well, preparing myself for this point. Patiently. I almost took the plunge last March, but got cold feet at the last minute because I had a huge list of life changes going on during that time. But now- Now we are all settled in our new place (requested by my pregnant self). Most of our stuff is clean and organized (another request), there is AC (an important detail), and I'm for the most part prepared for the worst (dehydration, IVs, hospital visits, etc. etc.) Knowing that this will be my life for the next five or so months will hopefully help me on my hardest days - it will help me remember that I knowingly made this decision, fully aware of the repercussions to follow.

I may share this with my fellow HG sufferers on Facebook. If I find that my protocol and approach to easing HG is effective and worth sharing, I may include this blog in a thread. But regardless, I plan to include as many details as possible. I think it would be wise to document my experience efficiently as possible to get the best medical help possible. And to also help with future pregnancies.

So, first detail I'm sharing is: DRUMROLL.................. tonight is the night! I'm currently ovulating (according to my fertility calendar.)  I'm assuming I'm fairly fertile, considering I had no issues conceiving Baby S (surprise pregnancy!) I haven't been on birth control for months....I don't really care for birth control, so my husband and I use the "family planning" method. That's also how I got pregnant the firs time around! ha.

I am choosing to try to conceive a few days before my "most fertile day" because I read that it increases the chances of conceiving a girl. But that's just one little step I'm taking- I really couldn't care less if we conceive a girl or boy. But where I have to be proactive anyway, I'm being proactive about the timing of us ttc. So, tonight it is.

I purposely gained about 5 extra pounds (which is a lot for me). I sort of let go of my diet and stocked up on whole milk and ice cream. I would say I currently weigh 127 lbs. About a year ago, I started taking Milk Thistle supplements to help detox my liver. I felt like it helped with constipation, but where I wasn't pregnant, I'm not sure if it had any benefits in regards to HG. So I took a break from MT. Then I read up on Magnesium and how important it is to stay on top of. So I started taking over the counter Mag/Calcium supplements and noticed slight improvements in my energy levels. My biggest health issue (if you can call it that) is my dependency on caffeine. The past few months have been especially filled with daily Diet Cokes to keep me going. Today I skipped the diet coke and took a few sips of a regular Coke (which has less caffeine) and that should help me regulate my caffeine withdrawals by this weekend, if not sooner.

Another lifestyle change I committed to was going gluten-free. I think I went a month without consuming flour products or cans/mixes/soups with gluten in them. I wasn't 100%, but pretty close. I actually lost 7 or so lbs (water weight probably), and felt great. My energy was amazing. Then one night I sort of crashed and resorted to eating all the comfort foods I had denied myself. That bender sort of turned into a three month carb-overload bender. I gained the weight back, as well as broke out in cystic pimples on my face and neck. I'm 28 years old and feel and look some days like I did when I was 14. But that month of being slender and having endless energy was a glorious time. Tonight, I opted for Mexican food (for probably the last time for a while) as a sort of "last meal." Like my facebook HG cohort Tara, I am committed to being diligent to a regimented eating schedule, and opting for low-gluten food choices whenever possible. I remember last pregnancy and how sugar would destroy me- so I think it's safe to say I'll steer clear of carbs, sweets, and hard-to-digest foods containing gluten.

During my last pregnancy, I struggled the most with smells. I'm curious as to how living in a cleaner home will affect me. I wonder if my triggers will be like last time: shampoo, conditioner, perfume, body wash, laundry soap, and dryer sheets. Regardless, my plan is to keep all smells at bay. They're good to just sit on the shelf for now. I will probably listen to less music, look at less Pinterest, and not drive my hot car if I don't have to.

As soon as my pregnancy test confirms I'm pregnant, I will contact my doctor Dr. Cox and request a prescription for Diclegis, Zantac, Zofran, and I'll pick up test strips that detect ketone levels. I will be aggressive with meds and not let myself get to the point where I'm in and out of consciousness on the couch, wondering if I'm going to die in front of my worried and confused family.

And at the very least, I'm going to remember WHY I'm doing this. One look at my prince gives me many reminders of why motherhood is the greatest calling ever.

Though this may sound ambitious to say prior to HG, my one lofty goal for this pregnancy is to go as long as I can without letting my family know what's going on. I spilled the beans when I was 6 weeks, because I was crying and exhausted and I just wanted my mommy. This time, it would be fantastic to make the announcement via "I'm the big brother" t-shirt at a family dinner.